Peeing During Sex: Fact & Fiction - Understanding and Managing Coital Incontinence
You’re reaching The Big O when suddenly… it feels like you’ve wet the bed. But did you? Did you actually just… pee? During sex?!
If you did, there’s no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed. In fact, this experience is common enough that there’s actually a word for it! Let’s explore peeing during sex, what it means about your pelvic floor, and a variety of ways to address it.
First: Was I Peeing During Sex? Or Was It Something Else?
When you release fluid during sex, it’s natural to wonder what exactly happened. Did you pee, or was it something else entirely? The truth is, it could be either—or even a combination of both.
Female Ejaculation vs. Squirting vs. Peeing
Female ejaculation involves releasing a small amount of milky fluid that is somewhat similar to male semen. This fluid is produced by the Skene’s glands, which are located near the G-spot inside the vagina. When stimulated, these glands can release fluid during orgasm.
Squirting, on the other hand, is the release of a watery, clear or yellowish, odorless fluid that exits the urethra during arousal or orgasm. Unlike female ejaculation, squirting fluid originates in the bladder and is a mix of urine and other proteins. The amount of fluid released can vary greatly, with some people releasing just a small amount and others experiencing a much larger volume.
It’s worth noting that anywhere from 10% to about half of people with vaginas experience female ejaculation or squirting, usually associated with G-spot or sexual stimulation. However, if you’re not consistently stimulating the “magic spot” and still feel like you’re leaking, you might actually be experiencing coital incontinence. This means that, yes, you did pee during sex.
Understanding Coital Incontinence
Coital urinary incontinence refers to any urine leakage that occurs during sexual activities. It can range from a small amount of pee to a full bladder release. Importantly, this type of incontinence is not linked to orgasm or ejaculation—it’s completely spontaneous and can occur during penetration, orgasm, or any time in between.
Why Was I Peeing During Sex?
To understand why you might be peeing during sex, it’s important to consider the connection between coital incontinence, overactive bladders (OAB), and weak pelvic floors.
The Link Between Pelvic Floor Strength and Coital Incontinence
A study found that about 56% of women who already had urinary incontinence also experienced urinary leakage during sex. This overlap is closely related to the strength of the pelvic floor muscles.
During penetrative intercourse, there’s a lot happening in the pelvic region. The increased pelvic pressure can both trigger an overactive bladder and prevent an already weak pelvic floor from effectively holding in your pee. The result? Urinating during sex.
It’s estimated that up to 25% of women experience coital incontinence, though the true number may be much higher due to the embarrassment that often surrounds discussing this issue. So, if you’re dealing with this, remember that you’re not alone, and there’s absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.
Other Symptoms of Pelvic Floor Dysfunction
Peeing during sex is often just one symptom of a broader issue with pelvic floor dysfunction. Other common symptoms associated with coital incontinence include:
Excessive nighttime urination (nocturia)
Reduced stream when urinating
Sensations of incomplete emptying
Other types of incontinence, like urge incontinence
Stress urinary incontinence (SUI) is another common issue that often co-occurs with peeing during sex. SUI happens when pressure in the abdomen—such as from a cough, sneeze, or laugh—causes urine to leak. This is the most common type of urinary incontinence (UI). If you find yourself leaking urine throughout the day, in addition to during intimate moments, you’re more likely experiencing coital incontinence than female ejaculation.
4 Exercises to Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor
A weak pelvic floor increases the risk of all types of bladder control issues, including frequency, urgency, and, yes, urine leakage during sex. Fortunately, there are exercises you can do to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and reduce or eliminate these issues. Here are four pelvic floor exercises to get you started:
1. Diaphragmatic Breathing
Strengthening your pelvic floor and core begins with ensuring that you’re not putting undue pressure on these muscles. Many people hold their breath during exertion, such as when lifting weights or holding a difficult yoga pose. This increases abdominal pressure and places extra stress on the muscles you’re trying to strengthen.
Diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing, is a fundamental exercise that helps you manage this pressure.
How to Do It:
Lie on your back with your knees bent.
Place one hand on each side of your rib cage.
Deeply inhale, expanding your ribcage as if it’s opening like an umbrella.
Slowly exhale, allowing the breath to flow smoothly into the next.
Repeat for 10-20 breaths.
2. Kegel Exercises
Kegel exercises are one of the most popular pelvic floor strengthening exercises. However, they’re easy to get wrong, so it’s important to follow the steps carefully to maximize their effectiveness.
How to Do It:
Sit in a comfortable position with your pelvic floor muscles relaxed.
Inhale deeply.
As you exhale, lift your pelvic floor muscles as if you’re sipping up a thick smoothie with your vagina. Be careful not to engage your abdomen, thighs, or butt.
Hold the contraction for 3 seconds, then relax.
Repeat for 10 repetitions.
3. Transverse Abdominis (TA) Contractions
The transverse abdominals (TAs) are the deepest layer of your abdominal wall. Strengthening this area helps build pelvic floor and core strength and coordination.
How to Do It:
Lie flat on your back with your knees bent and feet resting on the floor.
Perform a diaphragmatic breath to prepare.
Exhale, then perform a Kegel as you draw your pelvic floor and lower abdominals inward.
Imagine gently drawing your hip bones together to engage your deep core muscles.
Inhale and repeat.
4. Bridges
Bridge exercises help engage your pelvic floor and core muscles simultaneously, enhancing overall strength and stability.
How to Do It:
Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
Inhale deeply.
Engage your pelvic floor with a Kegel contraction, then engage your core by pulling your belly button toward your spine.
Push your hips off the floor, aligning them with your knees and shoulders. Hold for 3 breaths.
Repeat 5 times.
In the Meantime… Managing Peeing During Sex
While you’re working on strengthening your pelvic floor, there are several strategies you can try to manage peeing during sex:
1. Experiment with Different Sexual Positions
Some sexual positions can put extra pressure on your bladder, making leakage more likely. The missionary position, for example, can increase this pressure. Instead, try being on top of your partner, which gives you more control and puts less pressure on your pelvic floor.
2. Have Sex in the Shower
If you’re feeling insecure about potential leaks, shower sex can be a great way to disguise any urine leakage and keep you feeling fresh and confident.
3. Pee Before Sex
While I’m not typically a fan of the “just in case pee,” emptying your bladder before sex can help reduce the amount of urine available to leak. Just be careful not to make this a habit, as regularly forcing yourself to pee when you don’t need to can actually train your bladder to feel like it needs to go more often than it really does.
Final Thoughts
Peeing during sex is a common issue that many people experience but few talk about. Understanding the causes—whether it’s female ejaculation, squirting, or coital incontinence—can help you address the problem effectively. Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles through targeted exercises is a key step in reducing or eliminating urine leakage during sex.
Remember, you’re not alone in this experience, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. By taking proactive steps to improve your pelvic floor health, you can regain control and enjoy your sexual experiences without the worry of unwanted leaks.
Written by:
Dr. Jana Richardson, PT, DPT, WCS, PRPC, CIDN
Dual Board Certified Pelvic Floor Therapist and Owner of Chicago Pelvic Health
Dr. Jana Richardson is a highly accomplished pelvic floor therapist with dual board certifications and extensive experience in treating complex pelvic floor dysfunctions. As the owner of Chicago Pelvic Health, Dr. Richardson is dedicated to providing personalized and effective care for her patients. With a Doctorate in Physical Therapy, and specialized certifications in Women’s Health and Pelvic Rehabilitation, Dr. Richardson is a leading expert in her field. She is also certified in Integrative Dry Needling, further enhancing her ability to offer comprehensive treatment plans. Dr. Richardson’s commitment to patient-centered care and her passion for helping individuals achieve optimal pelvic health make her an invaluable asset to the community.
